i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
