Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
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