Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
