Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
