do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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