ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
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