when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
