Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
