She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
