Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Randomize
