i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
