so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Princesses don't give blow jobs
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
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