The maid of honor just puked.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Randomize
