I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
if i died would you start the facebook group?
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
