Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Randomize
