physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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