RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
