I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
