I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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