i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize
