I think my vagina is haunted
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
