forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
