He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
