She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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