If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize