you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize
