The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
