This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Randomize
