I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Randomize