just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
