I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
