I got chris browned last night
"it" just moved
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
time to smoke my breakfast
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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