It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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