i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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