The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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