I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Randomize
