The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Randomize
