Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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