I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Randomize
