What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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