My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
