TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
