do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
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