lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
