How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
