why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
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