No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
