my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Randomize
