Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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