i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Randomize
