Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
