i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Randomize
