We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Randomize
