I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize
