During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
You have to summon your inner elephant
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
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