omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
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