don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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