Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Randomize
