why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
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