Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
