I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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